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free* webhosting! (April 2021)

Jake Thoughts01 Apr 2021 07:13:09 -0400 *Edited 03 Apr 2021 (removed off-topic musing regarding job interviews and job requirements.) Unedited version

Hey you! Do you want free webhosting? Yes? Great, I am offering free* webhosting for a limited time! Thats right, hop on your html5 compatible browser and go to and start filling out the forms! What are you waiting for?? Don't delay! Get free* webhosting today!1

Oh, what's that? You're worried that the consequences of my actions will be far too much for me to bear🐻? Ha! Nonsense! I LAUGH at such a preposterous idea! I am a certified!TM professional webdev with about 1 months of experience (so many!). I am very qualified!TM to handle your BORING plain html/css/js website. :^)

Oh, you didn't like my joke? Oh, you will just use Neocities instead? Yes, I suppose that is good: since they do offer 1GB of space whereas I only give you 50MiB of space; since they serve websites basically immediately whereas I am self-hosting this; since they make managing your website VERY easy whereas I expect you to either learn or be good at it; since they do other things as well... that I don't remember.

B-but! Neocities does NOT offer server side scripting, DO THEY? (they don't.) Neocities doesn't give you PHP, DO THEY?? (they don't.) Well, I do! And, I allow you to upload any kind of file that you want (as long as the contents of files doesn't have an arrangement of bits and bytes that would cause a violation of US law. I'm self hosting this you know!)

"This seems too good to be true." -You.

Yeah. Yeah it does. You have to deal with me. That might be the downside to this: I am not an expert at this but I feel like I can handle about... 20(?) websites easily. Maybe. I have about 10Mps up, which I predict will be the bottleneck in this project but we'll see. If my home internet becomes slow I will stop allowing new people for sure. The main target demographic is people who want to use SSI, server side scripting, MySQL (I will add this... 'soon'), and other server side features as long as it isn't too heavy on the system. Basically, I want to get good at this stuff for the hypothetical job interview.*

I also wanted to do this because I thought it would be a lot of fun! Setting up the processes that automate most of my work was definitely fun. I've done some stuff I that I would describe as clever so your website should should be safe from people who are logged in/rouge scripts, specifically, itk module. Each virtual host has its own userid and groupid assigned to it so basically, if something on your website gets pwned it shouldn't affect the rest of the machine. I even set up your login inside a working chroot with many things that you will probably need. Apache is chrooted as well, of course. If you need/want some features then I am totally cool with it, all get them.

inb4 chroot not secure

I also wanted to do this because running my own website is literally the easiest thing in the world. I wanted to make it more 'challenging' which is adding features that paid-for hosting would give you, like SQL databases for example which I do plan on adding. It is worth mentioning that I have never actually used a SQL database before so if setting it up is a pain in the ass it may be a while before it is accessible. I'll keep in contact with people who want it, if they want me to keep in contact.

I will explicitly mention: for those who came across this page through a search engine result, please note the date that this was posted.

Don't delay! Sign up today!

Other thoughts

jake on 2021-04-05,04:30:28 said:

Alternative links (for chads) Tor: http://pepu3ejhndxt7akmtaqecoeg3v4l4eyoimgp7qsv64jtywumty2yj3id.onion/ I2P: http://humf6nsm4qvrsw5yej3o4t3y2jigx64pvj24opkbjrgmvfh7cqoq.b32.i2p/ Yggdrasil: OpenNIC: tld = .geek

jake on 2021-09-17,13:12:28 said:

I've decided to close this down since at the time of making this project I was unaware of all the ways one could get free web hosting. I am like a fish in an ocean.

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